Question:
You were walking past your neighbour's house when you heard a loud crash.
- What did you do?
- What did you see?
- What happened next?
- What happened in the end?
My composition:
''I like the movie that we just watched!''I exclaimed.
''Me too!'' Christine replied.After that,I looked at my watch and realized that it is already 11.30p.m.!
''Christine, I need to go now.My mother said that if i do not go back home by 12 midnight, she will not open the door for me.''I told Christine as fast as i can speak.
''Why?''Christine asked with curiosity.
''I explain to you next time.''
''Okay..''I said while preparing my heels.I ran for about 15 minutes and was too tired to continue running, so I started walking.I walked passed neighbor's house,almost reaching my house when I suddenly heard a sound.''Screech...Crash....''Out of curiosity, I ran towards the place where the sound come from and I found out that an accident has occur.I stood rooted to the ground as there was a big pool of blood on the road.After a while, I came back to my senses and searched for my mobile phone.I searched my whole bag but i could not find my mobile phone.I started panicking and my mind is a blank.Finally, I remembered that my house is just nearby!I ran as fast as possible towards my house and went to my house door.
''Mum!Open the door quickly!''I shouted impatiently.My mother came down and opened the door for me.I ran in at a brisk pace.I ran towards the phone and called the police department.I reported about what had happened just now.After that, I put down the phone.
My mother asked,'' What had happened?You didn't even take off your shoes when you came in!''I replied my mother with what I had saw.
''Well done,my darling! You have grown up to be a adult!I am proud of you!''My mother praised me with pride.I was so happy!
Soon,the police officers came, an ambulance also came.I went out and they wanted to give me an award.I went back with them and got an award.After that, they sent me home and received a call saying that the man is still alive.They told me and praised me another time,saying,''Well done!If you didn't call us, that man could have probably not survive at all!''
After this experience, it became something important in my mind.It is great for getting praises for doing something good!
This is the second story. Again there is no climax scene. As soon as the story started, it sort of ended. You seemed to have sliced off the tip of the pyramid.
ReplyDeleteStory again is not developed. The crash is from inside the house not on the road.
Please read how your friends plot their stories.
Out of point.