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Sunday, April 18, 2010

composition

You were listening attentively in class when you felt something poking you. Turning around, you saw a classmate staring at you.

- What did you do?
- What happened next?
- What happened in the end?

My composition:

''Remember,only green plants photosynthesis to make food.Photosynthesis require water,air, sunlight.''Mr Lim said.I was listening attentively and writing notes when suddenly, I felt that someone is poking me.I turned around and saw my classmate,Mike, staring at me.
''Why are you staring at me, Mike?Why did you poke me?''I asked Mike impolitely as I wanted to listen to Mr Lim's lesson.
''Oh,I was bored..''Mike replied immediately.
I thought in my mind,''What?Bored!Don't disturb me!''I was fuming with anger but I had to manage my impulsivity.
''If you are bored, then please do not disturb me!I want to listen to Mr Lim's lesson and want to get 91 and above for examination.''I replied with my voice getting louder and louder.''So,please do not disturb me now!''
''Aaron!Although I do not know what are you talking about,but I can hear your voice!Meet me at the general office after school!''Mr Lim heard the conversation and shouted at me.I turned around to see Mike and he was doing a funny face at me.At that time,I knew that I had fell into his trap.
''Ring....''School was over,I went over to the general office.
''Aaron,I knew you as an attentive, polite, helpful and respectful student.But now,you actually talked so loudly in my class just now!Please give a valid reason.''Mr Lim asked me in a gentle voice.
''I was attentively listening to you,writing notes.But suddenly,I felt someone poking me,so i looked back,Mike was staring at me.I asked him why did he poke me and stare at me,he said that it was for fun, he was bored.I was so angry,but I know I had to manage my impulsivity. I tried to talk to him politely but I just cannot take it anymore.So,Mr Lim,I am so sorry that i disrupted your lesson but I really did not do it on purpose.''I told everything that happened to Mr Lim.
''I see...Do you have plans to revenge on him?If you don't have, I have one idea.''Mr Lim said with a evil grin on his face.Something bad might happen.
The next day,Mr Lim said,''Mike, I knew as a good student, so I hope that you could serve me tea everyday,okay?I am so sorry to say that you cannot disagree.''
I thought in my mind,''So this is the plan?Okay,it seems interesting.''
Everyday,I took a peek at Mr Lim's office and saw Mr Lim doing his evil plans.
I heard his voice saying,''this tea is too hot, please make another cup of tea for me,this tea is too cold,please make another cup of tea for me.''He repeated it for ten times!
I really appreciate your help,Mr Lim!

1 comment:

  1. No development. U repeated what Mike did to you to your teacher again. That is so repetitive and no new development.

    Your story has no problem (conflict) and resolution. It has no features of a narrative story.

    I think repeating a mistake 3 times in 3 stories is quite serious. Can you please meet up with me to clarify your understanding of writing compos.

    ReplyDelete